history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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