Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
