nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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