I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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