happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
