evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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