Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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