Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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