I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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