My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's blow job season.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
