Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
