Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
