I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We have started to decorate penises.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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