yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
