I wanna bring you to show and tell
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
