Kiss
Puke
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
