Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
