She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
