wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
