I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
These tits shall not be calmed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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