Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
