you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Randomize
