Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
