Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
