i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
