Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
