I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize