East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
