Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
too bad you live with your parents still
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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