definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
wow bdsm is so cute
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
