i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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