Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's never too late to be topless.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
