the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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