I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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