what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
