i wish my penis had a tongue
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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