I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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