I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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