I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sobbing to NWA
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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