i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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