Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
