I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
