We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
