Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
