he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
