When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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