We're facebook friends in real life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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