yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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