i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
