the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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