are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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