All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
