Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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