the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did I show you my penis last night?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
