he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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