I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
