I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
