...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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