it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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