like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
