I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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