all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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