Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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